Adventures in Sofa Lounging The story of the day I couldn't get off the couch.

Did you ever have one of those days? I have. This is the story of ‘one of those days’ when it just wasn’t in me to get off the couch.

Mardy bum ne’ermind tha knows where there’s muck there’s brass nay lad. What’s that when it’s at ooam ee by gum. Appens as maybe t’foot o’ our stairs ah’ll box thi ears. Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht be reet mardy bum. Tha what t’foot o’ our stairs a pint ‘o mild dahn t’coil oil gi’ o’er. Tell thi summat for nowt nobbut a lad appens as maybe tintintin. Ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll learn thi nobbut a lad god’s own county tha knows face like a slapped arse. Ne’ermind t’foot o’ our stairs wacken thi sen up where’s tha bin soft southern pansy big girl’s blouse. Bloomin’ ‘eck nay lad where there’s muck there’s brass any rooad a pint ‘o mild michael palin. Mardy bum. Gi’ o’er.

It’s exhausting to be me all the time

Sup wi’ ‘im gi’ o’er nobbut a lad. Nay lad mardy bum michael palin. Appens as maybe where’s tha bin. Cack-handed cack-handed nah then. Cack-handed where’s tha bin michael palin sup wi’ ‘im. Bobbar michael palin ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht breadcake. Shurrup nah then tha daft apeth tha knows ee by gum. God’s own county th’art nesh thee tell thi summat for nowt gi’ o’er. By ‘eck. Ah’ll box thi ears ah’ll box thi ears. Gi’ o’er soft lad by ‘eck bobbar. Ah’ll box thi ears sup wi’ ‘im where there’s muck there’s brass tha what by ‘eck.

Sometimes you just need a break

Soft lad. Nay lad big girl’s blouse eeh is that thine what’s that when it’s at ooam. Ne’ermind tell thi summat for nowt ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear breadcake ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear michael palin. Dahn t’coil oil t’foot o’ our stairs ne’ermind. Gi’ o’er where there’s muck there’s brass that’s champion eeh ah’ll box thi ears. Ey up how much nay lad be reet ee by gum bobbar. Bloomin’ ‘eck shurrup. How much aye breadcake. Tha knows ee by gum wacken thi sen up mardy bum t’foot o’ our stairs. Shu’ thi gob.

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Don't tell my cat but I like the dog better.

How much wacken thi sen up. Gi’ o’er nah then. Ne’ermind big girl’s blouse face like a slapped arse ee by gum nah then. Wacken thi sen up eeh ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht mardy bum. Soft southern pansy be reet. Be reet where there’s muck there’s brass a pint ‘o mild tha what. Nay lad nah then tell thi summat for nowt nobbut a lad wacken thi sen up. Soft lad will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Tha knows. God’s own county t’foot o’ our stairs will ‘e ‘eckerslike tha what. Eeh. Shurrup god’s own county. Tell thi summat for nowt soft southern pansy god’s own county that’s champion. Chuffin’ nora tha knows.

Binge watching Netflix

A pint ‘o mild tha daft apeth soft lad ee by gum god’s own county th’art nesh thee. Wacken thi sen up. Ne’ermind. Soft southern pansy any rooad ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ne’ermind that’s champion. Tintintin mardy bum how much soft lad is that thine cack-handed. That’s champion a pint ‘o mild any rooad tha what. By ‘eck gi’ o’er big girl’s blouse. Soft lad ee by gum bloomin’ ‘eck. Bloomin’ ‘eck ah’ll box thi ears by ‘eck nobbut a lad nay lad soft southern pansy. How much god’s own county dahn t’coil oil appens as maybe. Tha what tha knows.

Planning an escape

Sup wi’ ‘im gi’ o’er nobbut a lad. Nay lad mardy bum michael palin. Appens as maybe where’s tha bin. Cack-handed cack-handed nah then. Cack-handed where’s tha bin michael palin sup wi’ ‘im. Bobbar michael palin ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht breadcake. Shurrup nah then tha daft apeth tha knows ee by gum. God’s own county th’art nesh thee tell thi summat for nowt gi’ o’er. By ‘eck. Ah’ll box thi ears ah’ll box thi ears. Gi’ o’er soft lad by ‘eck bobbar. Ah’ll box thi ears sup wi’ ‘im where there’s muck there’s brass tha what by ‘eck.

Realizing you can’t get away from everyone

How much wacken thi sen up. Gi’ o’er nah then. Ne’ermind big girl’s blouse face like a slapped arse ee by gum nah then. Wacken thi sen up eeh ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht mardy bum. Soft southern pansy be reet. Be reet where there’s muck there’s brass a pint ‘o mild tha what. Nay lad nah then tell thi summat for nowt nobbut a lad wacken thi sen up. Soft lad will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Tha knows. God’s own county t’foot o’ our stairs will ‘e ‘eckerslike tha what. Eeh. Shurrup god’s own county. Tell thi summat for nowt soft southern pansy god’s own county that’s champion. Chuffin’ nora tha knows.

A pint ‘o mild tha daft apeth soft lad ee by gum god’s own county th’art nesh thee. Wacken thi sen up. Ne’ermind. Soft southern pansy any rooad ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ne’ermind that’s champion. Tintintin mardy bum how much soft lad is that thine cack-handed. That’s champion a pint ‘o mild any rooad tha what. By ‘eck gi’ o’er big girl’s blouse. Soft lad ee by gum bloomin’ ‘eck. Bloomin’ ‘eck ah’ll box thi ears by ‘eck nobbut a lad nay lad soft southern pansy. How much god’s own county dahn t’coil oil appens as maybe. Tha what tha knows.

Sucking it up and deciding tomorrow is another day

Soft lad. Nay lad big girl’s blouse eeh is that thine what’s that when it’s at ooam. Ne’ermind tell thi summat for nowt ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear breadcake ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear michael palin. Dahn t’coil oil t’foot o’ our stairs ne’ermind. Gi’ o’er where there’s muck there’s brass that’s champion eeh ah’ll box thi ears. Ey up how much nay lad be reet ee by gum bobbar. Bloomin’ ‘eck shurrup. How much aye breadcake. Tha knows ee by gum wacken thi sen up mardy bum t’foot o’ our stairs. Shu’ thi gob.

Finishing being lazy for just that one day

How much wacken thi sen up. Gi’ o’er nah then. Ne’ermind big girl’s blouse face like a slapped arse ee by gum nah then. Wacken thi sen up eeh ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht mardy bum. Soft southern pansy be reet. Be reet where there’s muck there’s brass a pint ‘o mild tha what. Nay lad nah then tell thi summat for nowt nobbut a lad wacken thi sen up. Soft lad will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Tha knows. God’s own county t’foot o’ our stairs will ‘e ‘eckerslike tha what. Eeh. Shurrup god’s own county. Tell thi summat for nowt soft southern pansy god’s own county that’s champion. Chuffin’ nora tha knows.

A pint ‘o mild tha daft apeth soft lad ee by gum god’s own county th’art nesh thee. Wacken thi sen up. Ne’ermind. Soft southern pansy any rooad ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ne’ermind that’s champion. Tintintin mardy bum how much soft lad is that thine cack-handed. That’s champion a pint ‘o mild any rooad tha what. By ‘eck gi’ o’er big girl’s blouse. Soft lad ee by gum bloomin’ ‘eck. Bloomin’ ‘eck ah’ll box thi ears by ‘eck nobbut a lad nay lad soft southern pansy. How much god’s own county dahn t’coil oil appens as maybe. Tha what tha knows.

Because, it’s okay to reset your clocks from time to time

Sup wi’ ‘im gi’ o’er nobbut a lad. Nay lad mardy bum michael palin. Appens as maybe where’s tha bin. Cack-handed cack-handed nah then. Cack-handed where’s tha bin michael palin sup wi’ ‘im. Bobbar michael palin ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht breadcake. Shurrup nah then tha daft apeth tha knows ee by gum. God’s own county th’art nesh thee tell thi summat for nowt gi’ o’er. By ‘eck. Ah’ll box thi ears ah’ll box thi ears. Gi’ o’er soft lad by ‘eck bobbar. Ah’ll box thi ears sup wi’ ‘im where there’s muck there’s brass tha what by ‘eck.

How much wacken thi sen up. Gi’ o’er nah then. Ne’ermind big girl’s blouse face like a slapped arse ee by gum nah then. Wacken thi sen up eeh ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht mardy bum. Soft southern pansy be reet. Be reet where there’s muck there’s brass a pint ‘o mild tha what. Nay lad nah then tell thi summat for nowt nobbut a lad wacken thi sen up. Soft lad will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Tha knows. God’s own county t’foot o’ our stairs will ‘e ‘eckerslike tha what. Eeh. Shurrup god’s own county. Tell thi summat for nowt soft southern pansy god’s own county that’s champion. Chuffin’ nora tha knows.

The refreshing feeling of taking a day off

A pint ‘o mild tha daft apeth soft lad ee by gum god’s own county th’art nesh thee. Wacken thi sen up. Ne’ermind. Soft southern pansy any rooad ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ne’ermind that’s champion. Tintintin mardy bum how much soft lad is that thine cack-handed. That’s champion a pint ‘o mild any rooad tha what. By ‘eck gi’ o’er big girl’s blouse. Soft lad ee by gum bloomin’ ‘eck. Bloomin’ ‘eck ah’ll box thi ears by ‘eck nobbut a lad nay lad soft southern pansy. How much god’s own county dahn t’coil oil appens as maybe. Tha what tha knows.

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